


You Won And She Chose You

by thesometimeswarrior



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Ficlet, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Steven Universe: The Movie, Reconciliation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2019-12-02
Packaged: 2021-02-24 16:40:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21641080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesometimeswarrior/pseuds/thesometimeswarrior
Summary: “I hated you, you know.”Pearl manages to keep her voice steady. “Did you?”Pearl visits Spinel on Homeworld.
Relationships: Pearl & Spinel (Steven Universe), Pearl | Pink Diamond's Pearl & Rose Quartz | Pink Diamond, Pink Diamond & Spinel (Steven Universe)
Comments: 21
Kudos: 169





	You Won And She Chose You

**Author's Note:**

> This fic builds on some thinking I did in another fic I wrote a few months ago--[What We Really Are](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20740940)\--and can be read as something of a sequel to it. It's definitely not necessary to read it to understand this piece though!
> 
> Title from the song, "It's Over Isn't It," from episode _Mr. Greg._
> 
> In any case, I hope you enjoy!

“I hated you, you know.”

Pearl creases her eyebrows. She’s not as phased by this now as she might have been once, but statements like this one nonetheless jar her more than perhaps they should. She supposes that that’s a by-product of being a Gem whose sole purpose in the old Homeworld had been to make certain individuals happy. Another thing that she and Spinel share. Another bullet point to add to the carefully orchestrated list in her Gem of why she needed to return to Homeworld and speak to her, individually and in-person. 

And she here she was, despite the fact that, after their sojourn there two years ago, she’d claimed she never wanted to return to Homewold, despite the initial jolt in her Gemstone when Steven had explained what, precisely, had happened to Spinel ( _it could have been me!_ ), and despite the concern look in Steven’s eye when, several weeks later, Pearl had announced her intention to come speak with her. 

( _You know you’re not responsible for what Mom did to her, Pearl, right? I mean, what happened to her is really awful, but it’s not on you…And it’s not on you to fix it_.) 

( _I know_ , she’d replied, and, to her surprise, she’d meant it. _But I understand what it must have been like for her. Because I know what it would have been like for me_.)

When Pearl arrived, Spinel had regarded her with a cool indifference—so different from that manic fury with which she’d reintroduced herself. But eventually, she led her to what used to be Pink’s room, and now, evidentially, was her own. 

They’re sitting on the bed that had been created for Steven and Connie, years ago—Pearl supposes the Pebbles were freed before anyone ordered them to disassemble it—and when Spinel proclaims her onetime hatred for Pearl, Pearl manages to keep her voice steady. “Did you?”

Spinel nods. “For a little bit after I was made for Pink, when she first got the Garden, I made her happy. And I don’t know how long, because when I was with her, when she was laughing, every second felt like forever.” For an instant, there’s a wistfulness in Spinel’s eyes that Pearl recognizes from her own face. But it fades just a quickly as it had come when Spinel continues. “But, eventually…even before she got the colony…I guess she decided that she wanted to be _serious_ all the time. Like a _real_ Diamond. Like Yellow and Blue. And I wasn’t…I was just built to _play_! I tried, but I _couldn’t_ be serious for her. But _you_ could. And so all she wanted to do was spend time with you.”

“I couldn’t make her happy either. At least not at first.”

“You couldn’t?” Spinel’s eyes seem to waver between desperation and uncertainty, as though she’s afraid of another placation, another lie, and Pearl cannot blame her.

“No. I didn’t know it at the time, but I think it was because she missed her first Pearl. White Diamond took her away before you and I were built, because Pink wanted her to be her friend and not just her servant. And I think that we both—you and I—were supposed to be her replacement.”

“ _I_ was supposed to replace a _Pearl_?!”

Pearl nods. “We both were. I was built to be everything that the other Diamonds thought a Pearl was supposed to be—servile, formal, serious—and you were supposed to be her friend.”

“All I ever _wanted_ was to be her friend!” Spinel looks away, hugging her knees to her chest. Her rubbery limbs seem to shrink, and, Pearl thinks, she looks so _small_. Tears fight their way out of her eyes in large droplets, and when she speaks again, her voice cracks, shatters in the air. “But I guess she didn’t want _me_.”

Pearl's Gem _lurches_. Spinel, her fate, how she's just framed it, is the realization of every fear that Pearl used to have, and, accordingly, everything in her screams _run_. Go home, back to Earth, where her family is waiting, where she’d been with—fought by—Rose, and she can forget all of this, can forget the possibility that Spinel represents, and her pain... 

Instead, Pearl picks up her hand, lets it hover in the air for a moment before laying it gently on Spinel’s shoulder.

“Do you think she ever even remembered me?” 

She wants to say _yes_ , wants to assure Spinel that Pink—and then Rose—spoke of her every day, plotted ways to retrieve her after the War. But Pearl understands that Spinel doesn't want empty words—Stars know she’s received enough baseless platitudes in her life. Spinel needs honesty. So, instead, Pearl whispers nothing more or less than the truth:

“I don’t know.”

The light of Homeworld dusk filters onto them through the pastel drapes over the window.

Pink shadows loom large.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! I love comments!


End file.
